Booze Bad. Me Stupid.

Fuuuuuuck. Wow been a couple days huh. Ok first things first. Had one of the worst weekends of me life. Got super duper drunk Thursday, came to early Friday morning in some strangers yard. About half a mile away from my house. Missed the first half of the USA game Friday morning. Went back to sleep after the game. Woke up to a crying four year old. My brother dropped his kid of at my house on my day off. Watched the kid most of the day. Finally got some more sleep. Went to a party. Got fucked up again. Decided I need a hair cut. Let my drunk friend Larry cut my hair. He ended up really fucking up so we shaved my head. Then he cut off half an eye brow. Yeah you read right. Stayed up till Five in the morning drinking. Got home around six. Tried to sleep but my Dad need some help hanging drywall. So I went to help him. Stayed up all day on like three hours sleep. Skipped a friends birthday party because I was tired and had 1 1/2 eye brows. She got mad at me. Finally got some sleep. Sunday sat around and watched TV. THE END. And thats my weekend sucked huh. Oh well. I really need to lay off the booze. Oh and the worst part I have no idea what I did at the bar Thursday when I was blacked out. I still don't know how I got to where I was. Fucking booze. I think this weekend I staying away from the bar. I need some sleep still haven't fully recovered. Later whores. Peace.

Fuck the kids

Hello peoples, I know so far dedication means taking a couple of days off here and there. I'm working man now gimme a break. Plus I'm lazy, so there's that. But it's not my fault, It's my parent's fault. They made into the non ambitious piece of shit that I am. No, really. My parents never made me or my siblings do anything. We never had chores, I mean we did but we never got in trouble if we didn't do them. In school, never got in trouble for getting bad grades. Shiiiiiit I failed 6th grade and didn't get in trouble, I knew kids whose parents would beat them if they didn't get good grades. I guess they just thought we'd straighten ourselves out. And I guess my sister and brother did, but I sure as hell haven't. No one really told me "Hey you need to think about your future." I never think about shit more then a couple months ahead. Is that fucked up? Maybe. But I really don't care. Having the freedom to just say fuck everything and take off when ever I want is what I like. Am I a dependable future spouse for some lucky lady? Fuck no man. Sorry mom looks like no grandchildren from me. Too many people think they need to settle down and have kids and shit. A buddy of mine Charlie is only twenty-one (almost twenty-two) But he wants to be married with kids by twenty-six. That gives him four more years to fuck and drink and experiment with guys. (while he's in college of course, sorry charlie) Fucking nuts man, that pretty young to settle down. Unless you have to, like if you knock a chick up. I really don't think you should settle down before thirty at least. Shit The Acorn is twenty-nine with no plans of settling down, but The Acorn doesn't plan man. Alright bitches I'm outta here. USA vs Slovania (or some shit like that) tomorrow. Peace.

Life is wasted on my old ass

Happy Monday bitches, not really,but you know. So How was your weekend? Mine. Well it started out good and ended great. Got a little too fucked up on friday and spent the night sleeping outside. Saturday sucked, went to the bar to meet up with my cousin and found out he had got arrested again. Sunday sat around all day and watched TV (True Blood is back, ok first episode.) Then went to The Menzingers concert. They were fucking great man. One of the best sounding shows I've ever been to. Then I came home to watch my Sun Devils beat Arkansas in the Super Regional to advance to the College World Series. So all in all ok weekend.

So you know what I really miss? Being young and naive. You have it all you look at the world with different eyes and hope for the best. When you start to get old life always seems to just pass you by now. Now I'm not saying that it happens to everyone. But I think it happens a lot. It's happened to me, it's happened to a lot of people I know. When we were young and naive, we didn't know any better then to think life was just gonna be this easy thing. It was easy up till then. You know school, living with your parents, no bills, no kids, no penis or vage disease, no problems. Then you move out. Get a little worldly knowledge, go to college, have that first serious relationship, have your first visit to the free clinic. And shit gets a little tougher. But you know what I'm saying. Getting older means getting tougher, means more problems.

The other day I had a conversation with a person (probably eight or nine years younger then me) and they were talking about what their major was in school. And you could see they were excited about life and shit and I was like wow I really miss being that wide eyed and optimistic about life. I'm old and bitter now. Yeah I'm a little wiser then these kids now a days but I really don't think wisdom makes up for youthful ambition. Once you lose that it's kinda hard to get back. So I guess I'm gonna try and get back my youthful ambition. I'm still in my twenties I can do it. See I'm being optimistic already.

Alright cum dumpsters I'm outta here, I already gave you some life tips today so fucking scram before I grab my bb gun. Peace

USA USA USA

Ha fuck yeah the YANKS TIE!!! Hey it's just almost as good as a win. Lucky goal though. Fucking A man. Thats all I wanted to say. Peace

Working and Football

Hey dickholes whats up. I took yesterday off, well because I was fucking tired. Took a nap, woke up in the evening, felt lazy. Thats all, remember I'm rededicating myself to this bitch ight. Listening to the new Gaslight while I write this motherfucker. Really so far only a couple tracks standout. Probably need to listen to it a few times more, to really get into it. Thats how it was for me with 59 sound. Fuck, what else? I don't know fuck it.

So you all know I've been working at this shitty ass place all week. It's over were all done, got that shit back together. But today me and this guy were talking about how a fellow employee doesn't like to bust his ass at work. Well it just got me thinking about all the people who just can't hack physical labor. Now don't get me wrong I hate fucking working. I hate fucking working hard. But when push comes to shove I work my ass off. Well it seems to me that young men my age don't really want to work with their hands anymore. They want to sit in offices and type on computers like a bunch of fucking pussies. To me there is really nothing better then finishing a job that has kicked your ass. A feeling of accomplishment that you really can't get sitting in a office. Like I was telling the guy I was working with today, blue collar guys just really don't like white collar guys. We think they feel like they are better then us. It's the way it is in our office. When ever we have to go to the office for a meeting or something, there is a visible separation between them and us. I guess thats how it always been and will always be.

The World Cup starts today. I'm pretty excited, I'm gonna go into nationalistic mode and yell at foreigners. And just be an all around 'merican asshole. USA vs England baby, fucking a gonna be good. Shit like sports is the only time I get all usa usa rah rah rah. You know good ole fashioned sports man. Mano e mano, Shits fun dude. Whatever if you don't like soccer you suck so fuck off.

Ight bitches I'm outta here. Got shit that needs doing. Later.

Got a hole in my head.

So how's it going? Me. Not so good. I'm tired from the 6 million square foot roof that I'm working on. Huh let me see how is everything else in the world. Well lets see. Oil is still in leaking out of that hole like a dick with guanaria. Boarder Patrol agents are shooting 15 year old kids for throwing rocks. Our economy still sucks balls. Our political parties are a bunch of douche nozzles. And last but most certainly the worst, it looks like every 80's thing is being turned into a movie. What the fuck yo.

Lets start with the hole in the ground. Why the fuck is this thing taking so long. Blow the fucking thing up already. Call fucking Aqua-Man and he'll come close that fucker with a billion star fish. Use one of those giant acme plugs that are used in Looney Toons cartoons. You know the ones where Bugs pulls some plug in the ground and everything kinda gets sucked into it. Use that bitches. I don't know someone use something this is kinda getting stupid now. I don't see why they won't just collapse that fucker? Probably because they'll lose money. Hey and whats more important then going to your grave being the richest oil tycoon in the cemetery. Right? Right.

Did you see this? US Boarder Patrol agents shot and killed a fifteen year old boy. Way to go Boarder Patrol, you are now the heroes of the US of A. I read the comments of the article on Yahoo and WOW!! Not only do people not care, they actually applaud these fuck heads for killing the kid. I'm am so sick of these racist hiding behind the Internet. These are the people you go to work with. Your kids go to school with their kids. You eat lunch in the same places and they smile at you. Act polite and then go back to the safety of their internet user name and bash anyone who isn't an American. They would never call you a niger or spick to your face, but when that computer comes on they are the toughest sons of bitches ever. Fucking cowards. At least have the decency to say what you really feel to my face.

Next topic of discussion. Our political parties. These fuckers are just getting outta control man. Now one will agree on anything unless their party came up with it. And we, the people are the ones who are hurting because of it. This is why are country blows. De"mock"racy has become more of a business then what it was originally meant to be. A way for the people to get what they wanted. To protect us from the tyranny of Kings. Well it looks like the bottom line is now the King of this country and fuck the people actually make up this place. We only serve as cash cows for them now. We have a problem and if no one else can help, if we can find them, maybe we can hire..................................The A Team!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No not that A Team, the old one. The new one consists of a bad american accent, a South African Alien, the dude from Alias (who was Jennifer Garner-Afflick bitch in the series.) and The Hangover of course and the cherry on top. That sorry excuse for a fighter, who fights in a sorry excuse for a sport. Wow bitter much? Ha then you have the Kung Fu Kid too thats coming out too. Wait did I call it Kung Fu Kid? Oh sorry I meant Karate Kid, because we all know that Karate is from China huh. Can you sense the sarcasm? Cause I"m laying it on pretty thick. Hollywood is the biggest joke in the world. They have nothing new to come out with anymore. Thank god for Christopher Nolan this summer. Going to the movies would suck if I didn't have something to look forward to. Inception will save me in a sea of bad remakes and sequels.

Alright bitches thats all I got for today. We covered a lot of ground today. Tomorrow I have No Idea what I'll write about, I've covered like three days worth of shit in one day. Well I better step up my shit then huh. Peace.

That's a Big House.

Como estas bitches, It's four o'clock pm in good ole P-Town and it's a Hundred and three fucking degrees outside. Thats fucking hot. I can feel the sun burning the hair off my arms every time I go outside, not cool man. So yesterday I vented about work. Today I had to go, it blew. Nuff said. I did work in one of the worst places to work today. Some Macy's distribution center. It's Six million square feet. And thats a lot feet. So enough about work.

So lately I've been obsessed with Arcology. (Which is a blend of the words architecture and economy) Arcology is a set of architectural designs principals aimed toward the design of enormous habitats of extremely high human population density. (thank you wikipedia) So to put it in a reference that most of you will understand........ have you seen Wall-E? You know that giant space ship where the entire earths population lives? Yeah thats Arcology. Pretty neat huh. Well in Tokyo they are starting to build a giant city where 35,000 full time residents could live and up to 100,000 people could work. I'm telling you the future is now people. Pretty soon the whole world will be living like this. You know in a giant dome like Wolf's Rain ( Japanese Anime) or something. Or check out this shit in Dubai. It's all some pretty rad shit man. I really don't know why I'm like tall buildings and shit. Just the fact that man can build something soooo fucking big is awesome to me. Anyways bitches. I'm outta here, new Off With Their Heads and Against Me! out today. Go get that shit man. Later whores.

Anger out weighs gold

Well well well. Looks who's back on the net bitches. Me. Yeah thats right. I haven't wrote anything on here in a long while, but thats gonna change I'm gonna rededicate myself to this blog. Because YOU the fan (yeah thats rigth I have one fan, and several other people who occasionally read the blog.) wanted it. So if you haven't heard the news I got my fucking job back. And let me stop you before you congratulate me because this is not a good thing. I hate working like, like really hate it. You know how you hate your job and you can't quit because you have kids or bills and shit, well I hate my job soooo much that I don't a fuck if I can't pay bills, I hate those fucking things too. But yeah I'm on the verge of quiting my job. After I just got it back. I've been back for one month after a six month layoff and it still blows, hell it blows more now then before.

First off these fuckers call me, Tell me that they need help. How they are so backed up on work and they me back. So I'm like fuck yeah I'm back, well I go into the office and these fucks don't even offer me my old position back. They want me to go through a temp agency. Then they still had the balls to short me on pay as well. Thirty cents but fuck thats thirty cents motherfucker. But the real kicker is this. I don't get a work van. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! How they gonna do me like that. So I have to drive my own vehicle and pay for my own gas. I know some of you will read this and will be like"stop being a bitch, at least you have a job." And I can see where that can sound like I'm a spoiled little bitch. But here's the thing. I do commercial HVAC. I drive all over Phoenix. Sometimes you have to drive from one side of the valley to the other. Sometimes you have to drive twenty miles to the nearest parts house because your in the middle of no where and you need parts. These fucks expect me to drive my own car to go to jobs. Fuck that I need some place to put tools and equipment. After six years of working for them they laid me off and they bring me back for this shit. Nope. No way. Ain't gonna happen.

Now I have been working for them but thats because I needed the money. But the first chance I have to fuck them I'm taking it. Fucking cock suckers. So there you have it, Im pissed man and I getting a new job. I'm outta here guys, see ya tomorrow. weigh

Racism for dummies

Fucking A your eyes do not deceive you, I'm back from hiatus bitches. And fuck do I have a lot to say. Ah were do we start. Oh I know. How about that FUCKING DUMB ASS ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT BULLSHIT LAW THAT MY FUCKING STATE PASSED!!!!!!! Yeah I'm a little pissed about that one. Wow is all I can say the fucking shit is hitting the fan. I think this is the beginning of the NAU (North American Union) which pretty much Canada, Mexico, and the good ole' US of A coming to create one big fucking economic entity. Which would blow pretty hard cause then were just one step closer to a one world government and then it's fucking Logan's Run a few years later. Wow kinda getting ahead of myself there ain't I. Ok first things first the Immigration Bill.

OK this think is a fucking joke of a law man. I mean to legalize racial profiling, what the fuck yo. I'm a Mexican (a sorry excuse for one I don't even speak Spanish) and knowing that I can get pulled over for just going to the store if some fucking racist fucking cop thinks I'm illegal. Hell the fact the people can sue the state if they think the law isn't being enforced is bullshit. All around this thing has race riot written all over it. I was so fucking pissed that they passed this thing I was shaking, I wanted to go and put a few bricks through a fucking Starbuck's windows man. The rest of the country is being pretty cool about it. I mean when Jeb Bush comes out and says that the law is a bad thing you know it's bad. I'm just waiting for George to come out and say it. For all his policies, his views on immigration are pretty liberal. Fuck he wanted to make all the illegals legal at one point but that got shot down pretty quick from his party.

Hell when they passed the law I was on Yahoo talking shit, quoting Propagandhi and people were getting pissed. Calling me a traitor and shit. And now all they can say is "oh 70% of the country supports this bill" yeah ok how many of that 70% are smart educated people. I mean I sure that a good portion of them are, they just have their heads up their asses. But I'm also sure a lot of those people couldn't tell their belly button from their asshole. So yeah that 70% shit doesn't mean anything to me. It's just a fucking tool that these morons are using to get people to say "oh everyone else supports it then I should too." It's like they say, if a bunch of people start saying the sky is red and they insist on it soon everyone will say the the sky is red. So the fucking politicians are saying that all illegal immigrants are criminals, and guess what people are starting to believe them. They ignore the fact that every race has criminals. Black, White, and brown. Demonize a group of people, make the masses fear them and watch humanity at it's worst. It's happened before it'll happen again.

I don't really get it either, what makes you hate someone so much, when all they want is the same things you have for your family. Humans have almost lost all compassion for other humans beings it disgusts me. When I was commenting on the article, I said the law was racist, and watched people flip the fuck out. They were going crazy trying to rationalize their views, saying shit like It's not racist for me to want to protect my family and country. Ok I get that you want to protect the shit that most important to you. But at the expense someones else's rights as a human. To provide for their families and to make a better life them and theirs. I don't think it's right and to blame a whole race of people at the same time for all the bad shit thats going on in the state. Thats racism motherfucker. If it looks like shit, smells like shit and feels like shit, it's shit man.

Come the fuck on people it really almost makes no sense, that law is a racist piece of shit and the fuckers who passed it, know it, they just don't want the people of this state to see that it's them who have been fucking up our state. It's always easier to blame someone else for the unemployment, economy, and the crime. So the said blame the mexicans. When shit was good, everyone one was getting breakfast burritos and wearing sombreros (not really) well the most they would complain about the illegals was how bad their driving is (which is true, he can't drive for shit.) It was something that didn't bother people, then shit got bad and the right wing assholes started saying that it was the illegals fault. So everyone gets pissed at them. I swear it's amazing that these same people who listen to whatever is told to them can even wipe their own asses.

Alright this thing is pretty long and I think I've said what I needed to say. I'll see ya douche nozzles later. Peace.

Hiatus

I'm going on hiatus, not because I'm going anywhere but for the fact that I've been playing this game thats going to take up most of my time. It's called Stranglebaiting, no I kid. Its a video game for the PS One called Legend of Dragoon. It's awesome and I play it day and night. So when I'm done I'll be back here typing away. Later cunts.

Space Nacho Apocalypse

Hey interweb. Happy Friday, yay it's Friday. Shit for me everyday is Friday, so whatever. Hey so I was watching The Jetsons yesterday with my nephew and It got me wondering about why all the buildings are up in the air, miles above the earth. Interesting huh, well I've came up with the answer. Cosmo Spacely's father Cosmo Spacely Sr. ran the family business Spacely Earth Sprockets on the surface of Earth. Until he found a new way to make sprockets. So he made his new sprockets and in doing so destroyed the surface of the earth making everyone move their homes to the earth's atmosphere and they had to use his sprockets to move to space so he became a rich fuck in the process. So Spacely Space Sprockets was born and poor ole George has to work for his four foot fucking nine son Cosmo G. Spacely, the little bastard. Yup it's all the Sprockets fault. I don't even know what a sprocket is, probably because it hasn't been invented yet.

Well anyways because we have to live in space in the future because of The Sprocket Apocalypse, I thought I would name my five favorite apocalypses for you. Ok get ready because the shit is about to get crazy.

5. Alien Apocalypse. This one is pretty simple, Aliens come down from the sky and ravage our planet for it's untapped resources( that being the hot lava shit in the center of the earth, it makes their space ships fly and it goes good with space nachos) they come down kill all us humans pretty easily because they have death rays and shit and then they leave after sucking all the shit outta our planet. Yup this one is not that likely to happen I'm betting the odds are pretty bad. Next!

4. Nuclear Apocalypse. Yeah this ones pretty simple too, all the countries with nukes shoot them off and the earth goes into a nuclear winter, so while the humans live underground and shit the cockroaches grow all huge and shit and become the supreme rulers of the surface world. Humans are nothing compared their Insect rulers and become slaves for the Roaches. Numerous rebellions are attempted but to no avail, mankind dies out while the insects rule for eternity. This one could happen, really dude, with all the fuck nuts we elect president, it should happen sooner then later.

3. The God Apocalypse. Yeah this one can go all over the place with all the different religions out there. But I'm gonna tell you how this one ends up. So the Anti-Christ shows up and starts kicking ass and taking name. 'Merica is the first to go down, well because you know were not that smart. So anyways God has enough of this shit and sends his boys(angels) down from heaven to fight those fuckers from hell. So huge battle ensues and when it comes down to the big dogs. John Smith comes down from Kolob(the planet that mormons believe everyone goes to after they die or some shit like that) John Smith kicks everyones ass and it looks like the Mormons were the right religion after all and the rest of us are not going to fucking Kolob but we have to stay on earth. Then the earth blows up. Fucking Mormons man the were right, who knew. I'd say this has a really good chance of happening. No really if that happened I'd be really surprised. Or the Muslims or Christians are right, who the fuck knows man religion sucks. HA! Next!

2. The "they came from the future" apocalypse. This one is kinda confusing so bear with me. Ok so People from the year 4684 come back in time because they fucked up on some space nachos and they blew up the world. So now 15 billion people have no were to go so they come back in time and fuck up our time with overcrowding and shit (they couldn't master space travel so that why they had to go back in time) wars break out all over and we all end up dying horrible horrible deaths from Super herpes. That future herpes is a bitch man. It was future aids but then some dickhead from the future(he has future aids) fucked a slut from the present day(she has present day herpes) and they make Super Herpes. Yup thats gonna happen in 2012 too so wrap that shit up man.

1. The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse baby. My personal favorite, you'll know how it goes down. Zombies come, eat everyone, every last person dies except for the acorn, his friends and the acorn's lady Megan Fox. The acorn kills all the zombies single handily with his samurai sword and pipe wrench. Yup thats the way that goes down bitches. Ok probably not, but I'll last longer then most of you fucks.

Ok so thats it the five most likely apocalypses, have fun sleeping tonight with the terror I just installed in you. Alright I'm gonna go see that fucking clash of the titans movie now, later cum dumpsters.

April Fool's Acorn

I hate this day, this is the day when you try and fake everyone out with stupid little lies and then when it works you yell "APRIL FOOL'S DAY" wow fucking retarded man. I can't even read the fucking news without thinking "wait is this real or some stupid fucking story" Is that douche bag werewolf from twilight really gonna play Superman in the new movie APRIL FOOL'S DAY! Did Topeka Kansas rename their city Google OH APRIL FOOL'S DAY! Did Obama suck four dudes dick on camera while his wife fucked him in the ass APRIL FOOLS'S DAY! Did Tiger Woods pay some bitch ten million dollars to keep her mouth shut about thier affair APRIL FOOL'S D........Oh shit. Wait, that real? Ok guess it is, fuck you get the point right. Unless your a complete fucking moron can't you tell these are fake stories. It's fucking stupid, it needs to die. Unless your April Fool's Day joke consists of fake dicks, super glue, a kiddie pool full of pepto bismol, and shaving some fat guy's balls, it's probably not that funny or clever. So end it 'Merica, hear me, end it.

So something I couldn't figure out today was the story about Ronald McDonald. Was it real? Was it fake? I don't fucking know 'Merica I couldn't tell you. Well here it is. Some activist group wants Mickey D's to retire Ole Ronald. Yes the red headed, chomo looking clown thats the fucking child attraction for McDonalds. Well the activists says he like Joe Camel and he makes kids want to eat McDonalds and get fat. Shiiiiiiiiiiiit That motherfucker scared me, I didn't want to eat McDonalds when I was a kid. That fucking clown is creepy as fuck man. So fuck off activists, blame parents man, do I really half to talk about lazy fucking parents again man. Yes mosts parents are lazy, they don't play with their kids they let them sit around all day and play video games and watch tv. You know what I did today with my kid. (not really my kid, he's my nephew but I watch him everyday so he's like my kid) First we watched some Nick Jr, then we listened to some Smoke or Fire and danced around for a little while. Then we went to the Comic Book store. After that we got some McDonalds (ha) Then off to the park to play. Thats a big fucking day. Right now while I'm typing this he's drawing pictures. He's four motherfuckers I make him food almost every fucking day. We play on outside in the back everyday, he jumps on the trampoline all fucking day and I read outside. Play with your fucking kids if your worried about them getting fat. thats all it takes Stop being so fucking lazy and blaming everyone else for how fucking fat and sick YOUR fucking kids are. Yes I do agree that Ronald needs to retire, but thats because I hate clowns and he's a fucking creepy motherfucker. Ok I got to go read comics to the kid. Stop being lazy you fucks. Later.

Problems with cell phones and alcohol

You know what I am? (Besides a drunk, jobless, man-child) I'm a drunk texter and caller. Yup I'm the person thats texts his best friend at four in the morning to tell him that he loves him. Or I'm the guy who texts a girl and says she's one of the best people I know, or I'm the guy who texts a girl he just met and asks her out at six in the morning. Drunk texting is bad. Really bad. Sometimes I can't help it, I get drunk and I call or text people. Two weeks ago I called my sister, drunk off my ass to tell her I loved her. Don't remember, but she told me I did it. Last Saturday I called my cousin Troy at 3:30 in the morning to talk to him about some end of the world shit I saw on the History Channel. When I'm drunk (and let's face it I'm depressed from having no life or job) I shouldn't have a fucking phone on me. It just ends bad. And I look like a fucking weirdo. Whatever, I don't think I'm getting shitty this weekend, I got my cousin Ruben's bday party to go to, and then a baby shower for my friends Chuck and Elvy. I hear there will be single ladies there, so If I somehow charm someone into giving me their phone number I'm handing my phone to someone else. or I'm need to put a time lock on my phone. Fuck alright I'm out, see ya later I need to go buy comic books.

So long and thanks for the depressing ass blog.

So I still have no job and well, can't complain too much. I sit around watch tv shows and movies, read books and comics, And occasionally workout. (when I'm not being completely fucking lazy) Oh and I write this badass motherfucking blog that no one seems to read,but I don't give a fuck. So anyways, for the most part I watch tv shows that I DVR. And well I have a new favorite show. It's called Justified, it's on FX and its fucking awesome. It's only on the second episode but the writing on the show is sooo fucking great. (the dialogue is truly great, how many shows can have a funny and serious conversation about dildos?) Seriously watch the fucking show and tell me I'm wrong. Now I watch a lot of TV, well because I have nothing better to do and I just love good writing. So I know some good shit when I see it. And this is one the most well written show. Fuck man I wish I could write half as good as those motherfuckers. See I can plot a story, I mean I have like twelve scripts that I'm trying to write and I know how I want the story to go but dialogue is the hardest part to get down. because dialogue is the meat between the bread. Some people have a knack for writing dialogue and some people don't. I think I'm the later. So anyways that seems to be what I'm writing about today unless you want to read about some of the most fucked up shit I've ever heard? You do, Great.

So most people don't know who Fat Mike is. He plays bass and sings in the band NOFX well this week at the SXSW (thats the South by Southwest music festival in Austin, Texas if you don't know) He played a solo show as Cokie The Clown (Fat Mikes alter ego) Well he came out on stage with a bottle of tequila and poured some 40 shots for him and some fans. They took the shots and then he played some songs. After a couple songs he started to tell stories about how he and a bandmate witnessed a rape when they were kids,how his father told him he didn't want him. How while his mother was dying in the hospital he gave her a lethal dose of drugs and held a pillow over her face, when she asked him to help her die. And a couple other things that I read about because I couldn't make all the way through the youtube video. At the end he told the crowd of 400 shocked people that he had a video for them and walked off stage. They wheeled out a TV and played the video. The video showed Fat Mike, just before he was going onstage, with the bottle of tequila about half full. He then pulls out his dick and pisses in the bottle filling it up. The camara then follows him on stage. It was probably one of the most fucked things I've read about.(like I said I couldn't watch the whole thing on youtube it was that bad.)

When you listen to music (real music,written by the artist themselves, not some Black Eyed Peaed bullshit.) you really get to know that person. Their hopes, fears, and dreams all rolled up into song, and you get a personal connection with the person. It's kinda hard to see someone that you once idolized breakdown like that. I guess we got to remember that these punk rock heros are just as or more fucked up then us fans. So Fat Mike if you every stumble upon this blog I have, hang in there man, hope evrything works out for you in the end.

Wow some really depressing shit today huh, well I guess thats all for today I need to go watch Lost and maybe then I'll go work out. If I'm not gonna be a lazy fuck today Peace homies.

Who wants free shit?

Hey fucks! Whats up, you know whats funny? People thats who. People are so fucking funny, it makes me want to fucking go bonkers. Yes I said bonkers. No, wait for realz homies, people are funny. You know when Denny's has that free Grand Slam breakfast bullshit, and people line up for fucking hours just to get some free breakfast. It fucking funny. People (mostly 'Merican people) will do anything for something free. They always love free shit, hell people will kill each other for some free shit. My mother once sat in line for two hours for some free coffee. Yup you heard right a free cup of fucking coffee. When she could have gone to the fucking Circle K down the street and pay a dollar twenty five for the same thing. I don't get something is free and people go fucking crazy.

Which leads me to my next point. Why the fuck are people going crazy over this fucking free health care bullshit. Crazy people are threatening to assassinate the President over this shit. I mean I dislike like Obama, hell I hated Bush and nothing ever got me pissed off enough to twitter an assassination letter. Especially on twitter what a fucking douche huh, why can't you be clever enough to fucking cut letters outta twenty different magazines while slicing your finger prints off with razor blades. Now thats crazy, not fucking twitter, twitter is fucking gay man (not gay, homo gay, gay lame gay) fucking punk ass technology nerds and their fucking dumbass fucking nerd computer shit. So anyways these fucking weirdos are even shooting up congressman's offices, I thought they liked free shit I thought all 'Mericans loved free shit. So stop fucking complaining about this shit and get with the fucking program. The old way wasn't fucking working so great so lets try this. I talked to a dude I know this weekend at a bday party and he's a doctor, he loves the idea of helping people without having to worry if they have health insurance. It my work, it my not work, but for people to say that the country is going into the shitter now, hello where the fuck have you been? the country has been in the shitter for the last eight years, it hasn't just started now. Anyways I'm done talking about this shit. hey has anyone seen that windows 7 commercial with the french chick? well she fucking hot, I'm gonna move to France and find me a french chick, at least in France they don't whine about health care. Later bitches.

You always hurt the ones you love.

Hey, hello, how ya doing? Today I'm going to go into yesterdays entry. So on the blog of the great Brendan Kelly (bassist and singer of the greatest band in the world The Lawrence Arms) there has been a little argument about the band Against Me! Some people hate them for "selling out" and some people still don't care and love them anyways. So in Mr. Kelly's blog , he wrote about how if didn't like Against Me! anymore, then you were envious prick and you should do something with your life. Well this kinda made me angry, and I said that BK should go suck a cock. Well this does not mean that I hate BK or The Larry Arms, I know that he is sticking up for his friend and thats fine, I would probably do the same thing if a friend was attacked. But for BK to say that not likeing his friend's band is Sarah Palin like is kinda goofy. What I always loved about punk rock was the fact that you didn't have to agree with everything that a band was saying. It's about thinking for yourself and looking at everyone's view point. I'm not a vegan, I'm not a pacifist, I don't give a shit about stright edge, I don't fucking care about the scene. I like bands that don't give a fuck about money or labels or what their fans think. That's why I love the Lawrence Arms, They write heartfelt songs that speak to me. Alkaline Trio has been on a major label before and I still loved them, they changed thier sound and still I loved them and bought their records, even when people said they sucked and said I wasn't punk if I liked them. Well then I guess I'm not a punk, to me they never changed and I never lost that connection I felt when I listened to their music. With Against Me! New Wave just lost that passion, I don't give a fuck if every single critic in the world thought it was the greatest album ever or if Chris Hannah himself said that it was his favorite album, I don't like it. It didn't have that connection that I felt with previous albums. It doesn't mean I hate Tom Gabel for "selling out". It means I didn't like the last album. That's it thats all. I am by no means a jealous motherfucker for not liking something. I will listen the White Crosses and If I like it I'll buy it just like I do everything else. And if I ever met Tom Gabel I'll say "Hey Tom, love your music man, take it easy." Cause I do love the music, I just don't like one thing that he made. Alright man thats it for this subject, I'm done arguing about this shit. Later guys.

Yeah, you're wrong.

you know what I hate ? You really want to know what I hate. When people can't make up their own minds and take up the opinion of some semi famous person for the sake of "agreeing" with him. Now I love BK as much as the next guy but most of these people on the "cool" sock drawer would just agree with BK because he is soooo cool and he's in a band , rather then have him frown upon them, like some father punishing his children, get a life you fucks. And for the record I think against me sucks now and I'd rather watch elton john jerk off george michael on stage then watch AM. So the next time someone like BK tells me that I'm just jealous because I'm not in the "scene" well he can go suck a cock too. cause I know who I am and and what I belive and I've never got into "punk rock" to agree with anyone.

Viva Las Vegas? Uh no.

So I getting ready to leave on a two day trip to the land of geriatrics, hopeless desperation, and hookers. Yup you guessed it. Vegas!! Ok I'm not really a fan of Las Vegas it's expensive, it's crowded and there is always an asshole who thinks he is more important then he really is. For my money Laughlin is about twenty times better. But no one listens to me, so I guess I'm the asshole. I will try to have fun, I'm going with a couple of good friends, so that helps. Well I guess I ought to be going, try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot. Peace bitches.

Fat Mexican Don Draper. Nuff Said!!!!

Soooo...ooo....ooo Hey been long time. No. Well first off lets start off with this. I need a new hair style. Yup mine sucks. I look like a fat mexican Don Draper ( Jon Hamm from Mad Men) but thats when it's long, when its short I look like a fat mexican marine. Yeah so anywhich way I lose ( ha you know that Clint Eastwood movie with the monkey. so funny.) But yeah need a new hair style. maybe I should train it to go back like I had it in 6th grade. I was so gangster in 6th grade with my slick back hair and Massimo green t-shirt. I always saw myself as a cooler version of Dean Martin back in 6th grade. You know, the ladies man, smoked cigarettes, short glass of milk. Hey I was in 6th grade I couldn't drink short glasses of whiskey yet ok. I was a pimp and I had cool hair.Know I have shitty hair. I have a very short window for good hair, it lasts a week where its perfect. Hair makes the man I'm telling you. And my hair blows. I thought of growing it out but then I really look bad. I don't know what to do. I think I should just cut it really short. Fucking hair man.

Next thing when are we gonna get some monkey knife fights in the good ole USA. We need that shit. What else oh so there is the whole earthquake thing thats happening around the world right now. I mean first Haiti. Then Chile, now Turkey. Who is next Mother earth? WHO IS NEXT? But the thing that trips me out is the whole American media ignoring Chile. I haven't heard shit about it. They just went like "Oh didn't happen" where is the fucking Telethon bitches. I mean I know Latinos are the second most hated race in America right now because were "ruining YOUR country" but come on man give some of that Telethon money. Now I'm not even gonna try to get some money for Turkey cause lets face it all Muslims are terrorist right. Right? Right? Yeah? What? No? Yeah? Maybe? Fuck you xenophobic America give them money too. Hey I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of this text Haiti to 99998 bullshit in which they probably didn't see any of that money either. Whatever at least give us the fucking option to text 99998 to fucking Chile or Turkey. For the love of Ray J give us the option. I don't belive in that shit, it's just like the 9/11 money goes into some assholes pocket. Goddamn cock suckers.

Aight motherfuckers see ya later I gotta get some sleep, watch out for Motherearth California. Peace.

Lazy Fuck

I know I need to post something but I can't because I'm a lazy fuck. later

Reinventing the Internet and saving the hot dog. I'm an American Hero

Is there is such a thing as useless facts anymore? I mean yeah in 1950 who gave a fuck that it takes a week to make jelly bean, no one thought of shit like that man. Now it's 2010 and people want to know about fucking jelly beans. They wanna know everything, I think the Internet has made us more curious then anything. Yeah yeah yeah the Internet is the best way to see two chicks fucking a duck or see Bette Midler's tits but come on that's soooo last century. We have the knowledge of Zeus at our fingertips. I want to know that I can google just about any fucking thing in the world and get an answer. Did you know you can't tickle yourself. I'll give ten seconds to try it, go head 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 yeah feels like your scratching yourself huh. How about who the fuck is guy who plays Death in Bill & Ted's bogus journey? Go on look it up. William Sadler!!! Yeah that's awesome, interactive blogging, I'm reinventing the internet. So remember when someone tells you that you know a lot of useless facts tell them to fuckoff and tell them that they are just mad cause you know the number one cause of blindness in the USA is diabetes.

So this is the shit I'm reduced to now that I have no life huh. Shiiiiit man that just means I have more time with TV and the internet. So I trying to eat healthier, had me oatmeal and bananas for breakfast, thinking tuna for lunch and chicken and rice for diner. Thats pretty fucking healthy if you ask me. The only problem with eating healthy is I'm picky as fuck. I hate a lot of fucking things. So we'll see how long I can keep this up. I love eating unhealthy, pizza, greasy food, cookies, Hot dogs Mmmm hot dogs. Speaking of hot dogs did you see doctors want to change the shape. They say hot dogs are 17% responsible kids choking on food. I didn't know that, but isn't it the parents responsibility to cut up the fucking hot dog. I mean I'm no fucking quantum physicist but I do know that you need to cut up food for little kids. I think what we have here is a case of lazy parents. Stop blaming the hot dog and blame those responsible, dumb ass parents who are not smart enough to know that kids can't eat big chunks of food. Holy fuck people it's not that hard to figure out. I think too many parents are out there thinking about who's fucking who on The Bachelor, watch your kids motherfuckers. Shit!!! Alright I think I'm done with this shit now, remember Now you know and knowing is half the battle. peace dicklips.

The dead have more fun then me

Sooo whats up. I had a bad weekend, mostly due to the fact that I did absolutely nothing. And I mean nothing. I didn't leave my house at all, until Sunday when I went to get some comic books. This is because having no job has finally caught up with me. I have no money, unemployment doesn't exactly pay you a lot. So now my life is one big fucking bore, I don't do anything now. It blows and I have cabin fever. I'm taking all the money out of my 401k to payoff some bills and that should leave me with a little more money but I can't get it till march so that blows. And my sleeping habits are so fucked right now. Friday I went to sleep at 4pm, woke up at 10pm, then I stayed up till 8pm the next day. Almost 24hrs being up. Yesterday I woke up at 8 in the morning and I was up till 9 at night, so I went to sleep. I woke up three hours later. Just wide awake, I then stayed up till 4 in the morning. I'm telling you my mind is starting to go fucking crazy. I wish I could just sleep like a normal person. I need to get a job. Bad.

So I really sick of the fucking Olympics, it just takes too long and I don't really care about the Winter Olympics. Besides Hockey and that hot chick who figure skates, I couldn't give two shits about the fucking rest of it. Summer needs to get here so we can watch some World Cup Soccer. That shit is good. Did you see those russians dressed up like aborigines and now everyone is all pissed off at them. Damn those crazy russians. They must be mad because Jack Bauer keeps killing them on 24. Well this has become a boring fucking blog. I'm outta here I'll catch you tomorrow.

No more Rumplemintz please

Oh fuck I'm am one hungover motherfucker. I really feel like shit, I can't even watch Burn Notice I'm so hungover and thats pretty hungover man. My nephew is up and I just gave him a bag full of Nilla Wafers for breakfast. Like I said hungover, I really should not be watching a three year old kid right now but he a good kid he just chills and watches Batman DVDs. So I got pretty toasted last night. I think it was the shots of rumplemintz I did. Not to mention I slammed a Jack on the rocks right before closing time. But overall I had a fun night couple of my friends came out even though they gave up drinking for lint. Fucking Catholics and their goofy religion. Why give up drinking for forty days whats that going to do for you. If you want to be all religious and shit give up drinking period. I swear I don't get people. So I almost kicked some kids ass last night over a chair. I'm sitting with some friends at a table I get up too get a beer and I come back and this cum rash had taken my chair. So I kindly walked over to his table and asked for it back and the little fucknut has the nerve to tell me I took it from him. So I asked him if he really wanted to do this and he folded. As drunk as was I probably would have pounded the shit brick. Fuck I got to work out today I've put it off yesterday because I was lazy as shit but I need to do it today. Fuck this is one big paragraph of shit. Thats how fucking lazy I am, I can't even press return to start a new paragraph. Lazy fuck. So I'm listening to the new Alkaline Trio on Myspace right now. It's pretty good, not as fast as I would like but I like and I'll buy it. Nothing is really as fast as I'd like except for some D4, A wilhelm scream, or Propagandhi. My nephew kicks ass he just chills, he still watching Batman, he love this Christmas episode of Batman, watches it everyday. I fell in love about ten fucking times last night, there was a lot of chicks at the bar last night. Oh and there is this waitress at the bar, who absolutely fucking gorgeous. I mean really fucking gorgeous, like she should be on billboards or magazines. Fuck I'm a infatuated fucking nerd. I think that she thinks I'm weird though, probably cause I am weird. But anyways she's only nineteen or twenty or some shit, so that's a little young, she probably likes cage fighters, not old guys who smell like cigarettes and booze. Hey I'll tell you what I'm becoming that old private detective from the crime noir movies I like so much. All I need is detective's licence and to change my middle name to danger. Maybe a snub nose revolver to. Yeah that'll help, that's exactly what I need. And a trench coat thats cool. maybe a hat, should I buy a hat? I don't no but this has entry has been going on for a while now think I'll end it. Ight bitches I'm outta here. I think I'm gonna go se that Shutter Island tonight. Peace out.

Tom Berenger, Brad Johnson. Whats the diffrence

Hello. How are you? Me? I'm good, sitting here jobless listening to Blue Oyster Cult. I just got done watching that movie Blow with Johnny Depp, it's an alright movie. I've never gotten the appeal of drug movies though. Maybe because the only thing I've ever done was smoke some weed. And that was when I was fourteen and I've never done anything after that. I not into drugs it's just not me. So I guess thats why I don't see the fascination with movies about drugs. I don't like Scarface never had, weed smoking comedies are somewhat amusing but just not for me. Give me a good crime noir movie, LA Confidential or something like that. Ahh this is pointless, What I really what to do right now is watch Lethal Weapon 2, I don't know why but sometimes I just like to watch good action movies. Like I just order the Substitute on my netflix the other day. Still waiting for it to come in,but thats a badass movie. Tom Berenger never got the credit he deserved for his action roles. Remember that show on the now debunked UPN Special OPs Force. That shit was fucking great Tom Berenger was the man in that show. Wait that wasn't Tom Berenger that was Brad Johnson. Well fuck it, it was still a kick ass show.

I'm really bored with life right now. I went out for Mardi Gras on tuesday and it was alright had more fun hanging out with my friends then really anything that was going on with the people at the bars.Though I got a number of free cigerettes from girls. I just went up to them with beads and told them I didn't want to see thier tits, I just wanted a cigerette. And it worked. I'm telling you, you can always point out the dumbass girl who's gonna take off her shirt for something as stupid as beads. I mean show your tits for money or free drinks anything but fucking plastic little balls on a string. I mean if I could get free drinks for showing chicks my dick I would. But I wouldn't for fucking beads because I get nothing out of it. Whatever fucking dumb chicks. Oh but I did see that hottest chick I've seen in awhile. This Miller Light promotional girl, fucking good fucking god this chick was hot as fuck. Even the girls were checking her out.I tried to get a free beer from her but she said I had to buy a Miller Light to get a free one, and there was no way in hell I was going to buy a Miller Light, I'll take a free one but I don't buy shit. Anywho I'm done with this shit for now. Sorry for no updates, I've been depressed laying in bed watching shitty movies. Alright Later bitches till next time. Keep your noses and asses clean.

Watch out for that first threesome, it's a doozy.

I know. I know. I know. You hate me, you all hate me. I haven't given you the drug that you needed. I know everyone needs some acorn and I haven't given any. Well my adoring public I'm back. I sorry I haven't written in over a week, but I've been obsessed with the Hefty/Stinky commercial you know the one thats has the trash saying Stinky then the hefty bag comes out and says Hefty then it's all "Stinky stinky, Hefty Hefty, Stinky Stinky, Hefty Hefty" and so on and so on. Craziness man, So I have been really in a drunken state lately, Like really bad. I got pretty fucked up the other night. Not good, I through up in my sink, lost my phone in my driveway, and made out with a not so good looking girl at the bar. Whatever right I'm twenty...................four...... no.........eight. Yeah Twenty Eight, thats still young enough to make out with ugly twenty one year old girls? Right. Well fuck you, your as young as you feel. No so I've been getting drunk a lot lately, most of it do to the fact that my sorry ass has no J. O. B. and I have nothing to do but sit around watching my Buffy the Vampire Slayer collection, reading comic books, and pondering life in my blog. Huh I'm turning in to the comic book guy on The Simpsons.

Well as most of you know Valentines day is coming up, and guys just a warning for Saturday night (the night before Valentines day) because you know that you can go to a bar and find some hot chick who is down on her luck, has really low self confidence right now because she couldn't find a date for Valentines and you want to be Captain Save a Hoe and rescue her from her bitter friend( who also can't find a date) who is telling her that every guy is a fucking scumbag and that she should become a lesbo with her, because in all reality she's in love with the hot chick but just hasn't been able to get out the words to tell her, and you come along acting all broken hearted too, You come in and sweep the ladies off their feet and then the hot chick and her bitter friend are all over you and want to take you home and BAM!!!! Next thing you know your in a threesome and the bitter friend has a strap-on up your ass and your crying cause this is not the way you pictured your threesome. Just telling you to be cautious out there on Saturday and watch out for that scenario. Cause it happened to a guy I know.(insert cheesy accordion music like something suspenseful just happened)

AHH so I'm trying to type this and help a three year old draw the red Spider-Man and the black Spider-Man, He draws really good for a 3 year old but he gets all frustrated because his drawings don't look like the cartoon, And I have to tell him to keep trying and practice thats how you get good at drawing. He's driving me crazy. Ok I got to go make lunch, Catch you bitches later.

Fuck off, busy

Busy right now no time to blog it up today see ya tomorrow

I got a case of the Muuuundays

Ughh it's Monday, Monday sucks. My fucking head hurts, it's late, I'm pissed I didn't write this early and I'm pretty fucking broke now. I got my unemployment, buts that's shit, It's less then half of what I made. I need a job, a real job, and fucking soon. Last week was fucking crazy, I went out 4 out of the 7 days.(hence me being broke) Thing is I wanted to go out with a bang and I did, we got all fucked up. I went out with some of my best friends Saturday (my other best friends stayed home) and we had a pretty fun time. So the Super Bowl is this week, I don't really care for either team. But I gonna have a good time still. You know what I'm still kinda pissed about being a jobless broke loser and it's late, I'll catch ya later. Peace fuckers.

Insert Howard Zinn quote here.

Sooo whats up on this fine Friday night, I was busy all day setting up a trampoline for my bratty nephew. So i didn't have time to write this today. I wrote something last night around 2 in the morning but I erased it because I was drunk and it really didn't make sense. Anywho last night got kinda wild. Went to the bar by myself, met some friends and got really hammered. Might go out to Scottsdale tonight, not really sure yet. But last night was fucking fun. Larry almost got in a fight that I started, my buddy Matt got super drunk and said vulgar things to girls and we all laughed about it. My friend Keaty and I got cheese bread at Hungry Howie's and ate in the park. Then I passed out, woke up to the kid wanting to play. My Dad bought him a trampoline, so I spent all day putting it together. Read some comic books, watched Supernatural(best show on TV) and now I'm typing this. What a charmed fucking life I live. Ain't gonna be too charmed soon though. Today was the last of my severance money so I'm gonna have to chill with the going out all the time. Fucking been a great little vacation though.

So yesterday the world lost a great man. Howard Zinn died yesterday. I can honestly say that his book, The People History of The United States of America, really changed my outlook on my life, politics, religion and just my over all view of this country. I saw a interview with him and he talked about how when he served in WW2 he had to bomb a little French town, it was after the war was over and there were German solders just waiting out the end of the war. There were also French civilians too. But they bombed the town and that helped what shaped him into the man he became. I mostly read his work he did with a magazine called The Progressive, in my younger more idealistic days, I was all wrapped up into the politics. And Zinn he did a column in The Progressive and thats where I would read him the most. Howard Zinn was a great man and will be missed by a lot of people, I'm glad he wrote and did the things he did for this country, even though most didn't like what he was doing.

Ok so thats that, what now? Not really sure that last paragraph was a bummer, think I'll just end it with this. So have a good weekend everyone, see ya next week. Peace.

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism."
-Howard Zinn

Attack of the Lizard People

Whats up dinkle berries, how the hell are you? Me, not so bad. I know I haven't written anything all week but I was busy and my computer was broken again, and I was to lazy to use my Mom's computer. Whatever right, what matters is that I'm here now. Lets see, I went out last night. I was fun, got drunk with T-roy and this old man Les. He's a crazy old dude but he's cool. I talks a lot mostly because I'm sure he has no one to really talk to. So I do it. He tells me all sorts of stories about growing up in the forties and fifties, and how he is related to most everyone in Ohio. He's 72 he hardly talks to his family, so he hangs out at the bar. Nice guy though. So I spent most of the night talking to him, Then a couple other friends showed up and we all hung out and drank some beers. Good night all a round.

So Did anyone watch the State of the Union? I watched maybe 5 minutes of it while i ate diner, it was boring just like I figured it would be. I still don't like Obama I think he's done a shitty job and I'm glad we got 3 years till he's out. Then we'll have another right wing christian fuck nut again. When is this country gonna realize that the neither the republicans or democrats are going to do anything to help us here and we need to help ourselves. Whatever right were all going to be slaves to a race of super smart Lizard people anyways so fuuuuuck it.

Alright I got 3 year old bugging me right now, so I guess I'm gonna have to wrap this up, so he can watch Super Hero Squad and eat macaroni and cheese. See yeah bitches later.

Crazy Man Crazy

First off this is a make up for yesterdays god awful entry. I had to erase it. I HAD TO!! It was that bad so if you didn't read it well you just saved yourself 10 minutes. Next what the fuck is wrong with Hedi Montag or whatever her fucking name is. The girl is 23 and she's getting plastic surgery like fucking crazy. She looks fucking nasty, I used to think she was semi attractive, but now no fucking way. Fucking crazy man. Then she all christian and shit and it's fucking ridiculous, like Jesus wants you to have all that plastic surgery you silly bitch. I hate fucking people like that fucking bugs me man. Fucking fake ass motherfuckers man, her and her creepy ass husband. What Kind of name is Spencer anyways, you what I'm gonna stop myself, this could go on all day. Fuckers.

So I have this little pet peeve, I hate when people talk themselves. Not like bragging, but just saying like " I can drink a lot man." or "My group of friends are the craziest bunch of swinging dicks around." Now I like to think of myself as a wild and crazy dude, but I didn't even deserve the praise I was getting a few nights ago. I ran into a old acquaintance at the bar, he was to say the least shitfaced. He was with another friend of his and I went over and talked to him for a bit. He then proceeds to tell his friend that I'm the craziest motherfucker he's ever met. It was very weird for me. I think people think I'm strange or annoying, I always thought of myself as a moderate crazy person, never a extremely crazy person. But I guess to this guy's drunken mind I was the craziest dude he'd ever met. Strange. Also something very funny he called my cousin T-roy the funniest person, now my cousin wasn't at the the bar yet, and I think his exact words were "When he opens his mouth he just says funny things." I was like "Are we talking about the same person?" He said Yes, and I was shocked.Now if you ever met my cousin he'd probably say Hi, shake your hand or nod, then that's it, ain't much of a talker. So for this guy to say that, I thought it was funny. When I tell people about crazy I mention my other cousin Matt. Now this dude is really crazy, He went to Vegas for New Years and got fucking smashed, well he had to piss every ten seconds so him and T-roy went to the Walgreen's on the strip. They asked for a bathroom and the lady said there wasn't one, so Matt's like fuck it, I'll piss in the candy section. Just right there in the store, fucking nut job man. I asked him, Why? He told me it was that or piss himself. I could tell you a million fucking stories about this fucker, I think things just don't process in his mind or something. Maybe I'll tell you another story next time.

So Jersey Shore ended this week, I cried a little, along with the rest of America. I think we just like seeing train wrecks in front of us. I swear to god if there was a show about just actual train wrecks it would be a hit. Americans love shit like that, that's why we love Jersey Shore, we like watching people just make a mess of things and boy o boy can they really make a mess of things. I mean Ronnie and Sam broke up on the reunion show for Christ's sake. I swear they fight like there ain't even cameras around, It's great. I'll miss that show, I think mtv caught lightning in a bottle on that one, just the perfect mix of fucking screwed up people. All people are screwed up one way or another, but we don't get to see it. The whole cast of that show just lived thier normal lives, they didn't try and change for the cameras which happens all the time on reality tv. The next Jesery Shore will suck.

I'm also super excited for the new Alkaline Trio record, I'm gonna go pick it up after this and maybe a Lillingtons album too, If the record store has it. I want to see a movie too but I have no one to go with. My heterosexual life mate JBear is outta town, He went to Seattle for a couple days to see if wants to move there. Fucking asshole man, he does this all the time. He always wants to leave AZ but never does. He needs his friends too much, he's a very emotional person. Well I'm gonna go pick up the album now, tell you how it is Monday. Later Fuckers, catch ya later.

VIVA JOHN EDWARDS!!!!

Fuck man It's raining like a motherfucker here in the AZ. Arizona supposed to get like 10 inches in the next two days. Thats 10 inches of rain, not cock which I'm sure all you sick fucks thought. Well whatever it's rain, hardly get to see that here. It never rains in the AZ. Where does that saying it's raining cats and dogs come from? Really I would like to know and I'm sure some research on the interweb could tell me the answer but I'm to lazy to look it up. But why those animals? Maybe it's a global thing like in China they say it's raining panda bears and dragons. I don't know what are other animals in china. I mean I know they have dogs and cats but I just can't see them as the official animal of China, Didn't they have a panda as the Olympic mascot or something. Fuck I don't remember, wasn't ours a fucking slinky or something like that? Atlanta 98 was the year of the slinky. I can see that. What was I talking about.......oh yeah, rain. It sucks and it ruins the bar scene. Nuff said.

Damn you no whats really fucked up is Trent Edwards wait not the former Redskin Treat Edwards, fucking John Edwards thats who I meant. Why that slippery fuck has a love child, buts that not the reason I'm displeased. The lady he fucked is fucking ugly, yup ugly. Not trying to be mean or anything but why is so hard for politicians to nail a hot looking 20 something year old. Their out there I now it, I know a chick who works in politics and she's a good looking blond , nice ass, good tits. What the fuck man why couldn't John Edwards fuck a chick like that. Never got it man, never got it. That's what politics is all about fucking young idealistic chicks. I bet Obama is fucking a hot little piece of ass as I type this. And Bush he got some, had to. One of his daughters went to fucking University of Texas, in fucking Austin. The ass in that town. You know he was down there visiting his daughter and there was a bunch of fucking chicks that probably wanted to fuck that old fucker, thats how politics work man. Just like Scarface, money,power, women or some shit like that. I hate that fucking movie.

Fuck I wanted to write about something else but I can't remember now. Fuck! Do I need to remind everyone to watch Human Target on Fox it's a pretty funny show and Jackie Earl Hailey is great in it. What else? Damn, I can't remember what I was gonna say. Fuck it. Tune in tomorrow so we can discus the finale of Jersey Shore. Untill tomorrow muchachos. Later!

Dr. Rosenpenis, Fucking genuis

Fuck man I'm not sure I can type this right now I'm in the middle of watching Fletch, which in my awful opinion is such an awesome movie. Come on he calls himself Mr. Poon. Mr. Poon how fucking funny is that. Well after yesterdays depressing ass entry I'll try to make this one a little more funny, deal? Deal. OK lets begin, wait lets begin with what I have nothing to write about, unless you want to hear about my theories about the effects of John Carpenter movies on a three year old. No? Fuck you then your loss.

How about how fucking stupid unemployment is? Yeah ok, fucking unemployment. These motherfucker still haven't given me any money. My funds is running out Yo! Every week they tell me next week, fucking cunts man. Damn Genna Davis doesn't look bad in 1985. I understand that every single other motherfucker is on unemployment too, but I made pretty good coin and I need that $240 a week to pay bills man. Fuck It dude it comes when it comes.Good news though my buddy Richie called me today telling me there is an opening at his work which is not so bad, little more work then I'm used to but hey beggars can't be choosers huh. Anyways I'm gonna cut this one short, If your wondering I'm still depressed about this past weekend and It'll probably take sometime, I'm a bit of a pussy when it comes to matters of the heart, but fuck you man I'm outta here, See ya tomorrow.

Pity Party for The Acorn

Happy Tuesday, How was your Three day weekend, well for my jobless ass everyday is a weekend, so guess what I'm typing this on my new new Mac. Yup I got a new Mac and It's fucking s'way (yup new word kids s'way. It's like cool, rad, awesome or anyone of those words. It's from the future and your grandkids in 2045 will be saying it up the ying yang.) So new Mac and I know what your saying "How the fuck can this out of work motherfucker afford a new Mac, when I can't even afford to have pubes shaved professionally." well let me tell you the truth. My Mom bought it and I'm just using it because it's about 20 times faster then my fuck up laptop, there happy I told you the truth.

So I had one of the worst best weekends of my life, first off lets start with Friday which started out horrible, I had to watch my two nephews who are 3 and 4 and are fucking little crazy people who hit me all day and ask for food with I don't know how to make. Then It got good again and JBear and I went out for happy hour where we got pretty shit faced for pretty cheap and then went to see Book of Eli. Well let me tell you, that fucking movie sucks pretty bad and I was bored for most of the movie. So that was bad. I then met up with my buddy Larry at our usual hangout and got pretty fucked up. Then I saw this girl, who I haven't seen in like four years, and I used to like her but never had the balls to tell her, then she moved away to California and I thought I'd never see her again. Well I was wrong and she was at the bar and we talked for the rest of the night. She was in town for the weekend, she was a Doctor now and she still looked amazing. So Friday ended up being fucking great.

Saturday fucking sucked. I wake up and the only thing I can think of is that girl, but I push that aside and think about the Cardinals game that is gonna come up in a few hours, so I get ready get to the bar and watch the Cardinals get their asses handed to the by the saints. So now I have nothing to do, and I spend the next eight hours at the bar drinking and getting stupid. The girl shows up we hang out for most of the night together and she saved my night from being a sad drunken pity party for the Cardinals. But the night has come to an end and I'm fucking drunk off my ass, so I go home. But this girl was amazing she's smart and funny, I never meet girls who are really funny. I might meet girls who are so dumb that they make me laugh but never funny. She laughed at my jokes which no girls ever do because most of the time they are sarcastic or offensive and they don't get it, but she got all of my jokes, and it sucks because she going back to california and most likely I'll never see her again. But whatever huh, I'm kinda sad now but I'll get over it when I meet the next hot dumb twenty one year old. A fucking weekend full of promise just fucking ended with a thud. Fuck. I'm gonna go listen to old Lucero and Ataris records now, seey you fucks tomorrow.

Hoboness

OHHH FUUUCK, Shit man I was sick yesterday which explains why there was no entry yesterday. Feeling much better now. Yeah woke up yesterday and my nose was all stuffed I had a fever and I was like "Fuck I'm sick." Yeah it sucked but I took a shitload of vitamin C and sleep for most of the day and wham bam slam I feel like a new man. But it did get me thinking about how I got sick and then it clicked.....the Cardinals game Sunday. There is no better way to get sick then large crowds of people. By nature people are sick fucking creatures. Were always leaking some kinda fluid outta our orifices. I'm mean come on really snot, shit, spit, spunk and blood. After the game I was high fiving everyone I could see. How do I know that the fat guy with the Dockett jersey didn't have his hands down his pants scratching his balls or the ese dude didn't have his finger up his buddies ass in the bathroom stall during halftime. You never know, so after the game I'm all eatting burgers and shit with my hands that I didn't wash. Ewww fucking nasty dude. I would always get sick after a concert, you know your in the pit and you have a hundred people sweating all over you thats fucking sick man, so I came up with a sure fire way to not get sick after a show. Well it's pretty much a fucking Hobo Bath, just wash your face and arms with soap, blow your nose, wash your hair and change your sweat drenched shirt and thats it. I've done that the last couple shows and guess what I didn't get sick. Oh and take a shower when you get home.

Well it's Friday today, not sure what I'm gonna do tonight. Maybe go see a movie or something not sure. I have a big day tomorrow, drinking beer and watching the Cardinals vs Saints. It should be a good game. I'm pumped for this game man, It can really go either way. Think I'll call my buddy Larry up and see if he wants to watch the game at the bar. He's a cowboys fan, the boys should pull off an upset and in the AFC I'm hoping the Ravens and Jets pull something outta their ass. All in all big football weekend. Shit just saw a commercial for Book of Eli, maybe I'll see that. All right assholes Have a good weekend seeyou Monday. Peace. RED SEA BITCH!!!!

Title? I don't need no fucking title!

Shit man new day, new year and guess what same ole shit man. So here I am unemployed again. Fuck I hate this man, I mean I've been going out a lot (severance money) hanging out with my friends a lot more but I miss working. You never really miss till it's gone huh. I also been reading alot more, with is a good thing. I had to rummage through a lot of shit but I found some old Star Wars books that I used too read when I was a kid. Shit kinda brings you back man, to the good ole days when I didn't have to worry about shit. Ahh life was fucking fun and carefree when I was kid. I grew up not even giving two flying fucks about school. I fucking graduated with a D average for fucks sake. Sometimes I wish I did well in school instead of fucking around, I would have got a scholarship went to some school back east. Had fun for 4 years, come back home and have some substance in my life. But It didn't work out that way so fuck it. Plus in being a fucking dirtball I've met some really good friends and have had lots of fun in the process. It's not like I haven't accomplished, anything but my 20's are almost to an end and as I sit typing this thing I feel that I need to accomplish more.

Fuck man this thing is fucking depressing, I sound like a little bitch. Ok because this is a new year I will make a list of my favorite things of 2009.

1. Favorite Movie: Damn this was a hard one I watched a lot of fucking movies in 2009 but It came down to a couple, Sunshine Cleaning, Zombieland, Cum Filled Bitches 28, and The Hurt Locker. And the winner is........................ Cum Filled Bitches 28, no I'm kidding It's The Hurt Locker. A movie about a boy and his high school locker. Nah kidding again It's about a Army bomb disposal unit in Iraq. Very Very Very good movie. Fucking watch it or I'll come to your house and shove a toy train up your ass.

Favorite Music: Fuck man choosing this is like choosing between my yet to be born children. So many to choose from. Fuck if I had to pick an album it would be American Rubicon by Cobra Skulls. That shit was fucking sweet man listen to it bitches. But there were also some EPs that came out too. And between two of my favorite bands a wilhelm scream and The Lawrence Arms.........................ahhhh I have to pick one but I can't, shit man The Lawrence Arms. Buttsweat and Tears was fucking amazing and it probably has one of my favorite Lawrence Arms songs ever. The Redness in the West, just an amazing song. But a wilhelm scream had my favorite songs of the year, Fun time and Bulletproof Tiger, two fucking kick ass songs that will blow your mind.

Favorite Comic shit: This was easy, anything Geoff Johns wrote this year was amazing. Green Lantern, Blackest Night, Adventure Comics fucking Geoff Johns man. For sure favorite writer. Favorite Comic has to be Secret Six, it's funny, violent, and perverse. One of the most well written things I've ever written

Well thats it, thats all the shit I'm into, but oh shit can't forget alcahol ok favorite alcahol of 2009 is Jameson. The nector of the gods, well the irish gods a least, wouldn't that mean Jesus? I don't know I don't make sense. Ok Jameson has been the drink of the year and it looks like it's gonna be the drink for this year too, I had some fucking fun ass times this year drinking Jameson, but nothing beats me and JBear drinking a whole bottle till five in the moring man fucking good times and then I ate a bag of swdish fish, it did not mix well man. Ok well thats it man nothing more to say, Hope everyone has a great fucking day I'm out bitches.

RED SEA BITCH!!!!!

Ahhh it feels good to be back writing pointless fucking paragraphs on the interweb. I've been gone for so long, you'd think because my fucking ass got laid off I'd be writing everyday, but I've been busy playing video games, watching obscure 80's movies, working out the forearms(wink wink), and watching all the ESPN coverage of my Arizona Cardinals that I can.

Fucking A motherfuckers The Cards are making their run, And yours truly was there live to see the Cardinals win on Sunday. It was a goddamn Christmas miracle they pulled that one off. Fucking crazy ass game though. Me, my buddy JBear, and my Brother went. We met up with my other buddy Curtis and his Father in law, and his boss and we got pretty fucking crazy. Curtis' boss coined a new phrase with is the title of this entry. My brother threw a beer at a packers' fan, Curtis' boss also almost got in a fight with a local news crew's camera man, and we had security called on us during the game for talking shit to the little fudge packers. Maybe JBear went too far when he told on fan that he looked like in inbreed fuck and told him to fuck his mother, but hey thats football baby and shit gets rough. Overall it was a pretty crazy day, I was fucking beat after the game. This week gonna be even harder then the last game. Hopefuly the Cards can pull this one out too. Alright I have the cable guy coming over to fix my fucking cable right now later fuckers. RED SEA BITCH!!!