Space Nacho Apocalypse

Hey interweb. Happy Friday, yay it's Friday. Shit for me everyday is Friday, so whatever. Hey so I was watching The Jetsons yesterday with my nephew and It got me wondering about why all the buildings are up in the air, miles above the earth. Interesting huh, well I've came up with the answer. Cosmo Spacely's father Cosmo Spacely Sr. ran the family business Spacely Earth Sprockets on the surface of Earth. Until he found a new way to make sprockets. So he made his new sprockets and in doing so destroyed the surface of the earth making everyone move their homes to the earth's atmosphere and they had to use his sprockets to move to space so he became a rich fuck in the process. So Spacely Space Sprockets was born and poor ole George has to work for his four foot fucking nine son Cosmo G. Spacely, the little bastard. Yup it's all the Sprockets fault. I don't even know what a sprocket is, probably because it hasn't been invented yet.

Well anyways because we have to live in space in the future because of The Sprocket Apocalypse, I thought I would name my five favorite apocalypses for you. Ok get ready because the shit is about to get crazy.

5. Alien Apocalypse. This one is pretty simple, Aliens come down from the sky and ravage our planet for it's untapped resources( that being the hot lava shit in the center of the earth, it makes their space ships fly and it goes good with space nachos) they come down kill all us humans pretty easily because they have death rays and shit and then they leave after sucking all the shit outta our planet. Yup this one is not that likely to happen I'm betting the odds are pretty bad. Next!

4. Nuclear Apocalypse. Yeah this ones pretty simple too, all the countries with nukes shoot them off and the earth goes into a nuclear winter, so while the humans live underground and shit the cockroaches grow all huge and shit and become the supreme rulers of the surface world. Humans are nothing compared their Insect rulers and become slaves for the Roaches. Numerous rebellions are attempted but to no avail, mankind dies out while the insects rule for eternity. This one could happen, really dude, with all the fuck nuts we elect president, it should happen sooner then later.

3. The God Apocalypse. Yeah this one can go all over the place with all the different religions out there. But I'm gonna tell you how this one ends up. So the Anti-Christ shows up and starts kicking ass and taking name. 'Merica is the first to go down, well because you know were not that smart. So anyways God has enough of this shit and sends his boys(angels) down from heaven to fight those fuckers from hell. So huge battle ensues and when it comes down to the big dogs. John Smith comes down from Kolob(the planet that mormons believe everyone goes to after they die or some shit like that) John Smith kicks everyones ass and it looks like the Mormons were the right religion after all and the rest of us are not going to fucking Kolob but we have to stay on earth. Then the earth blows up. Fucking Mormons man the were right, who knew. I'd say this has a really good chance of happening. No really if that happened I'd be really surprised. Or the Muslims or Christians are right, who the fuck knows man religion sucks. HA! Next!

2. The "they came from the future" apocalypse. This one is kinda confusing so bear with me. Ok so People from the year 4684 come back in time because they fucked up on some space nachos and they blew up the world. So now 15 billion people have no were to go so they come back in time and fuck up our time with overcrowding and shit (they couldn't master space travel so that why they had to go back in time) wars break out all over and we all end up dying horrible horrible deaths from Super herpes. That future herpes is a bitch man. It was future aids but then some dickhead from the future(he has future aids) fucked a slut from the present day(she has present day herpes) and they make Super Herpes. Yup thats gonna happen in 2012 too so wrap that shit up man.

1. The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse baby. My personal favorite, you'll know how it goes down. Zombies come, eat everyone, every last person dies except for the acorn, his friends and the acorn's lady Megan Fox. The acorn kills all the zombies single handily with his samurai sword and pipe wrench. Yup thats the way that goes down bitches. Ok probably not, but I'll last longer then most of you fucks.

Ok so thats it the five most likely apocalypses, have fun sleeping tonight with the terror I just installed in you. Alright I'm gonna go see that fucking clash of the titans movie now, later cum dumpsters.