I swallowed too much gumliva.

Shit whats up fuckers, It's friday and I'm ready to get crunk with it. Do the kids still say crunk? Who knows. Kids are crazy like that, always coming up with new words. My friend from work Dan came up with a new word yesterday,Gumliva.Gumliva is like when you start chewing a new piece of gum and the gum juice and your spit become one slimy, strong tasting liquid in your mouth. Like cum but not as tastey. well anyways I was telling Dan this story about when I was in 8th grade and I was at my graduation dance. And this girl I liked Sarah Gaston asked me to dance. So like any 8th grader with bad breathe, I popped a stick of winter fresh into my mouth before I started dancing with her. Well we were dancing and winter fresh has some really strong gumliva and I swallowed the gumliva and started choking on it. First I was just coughing and trying to dance but then I was really fucking choking. I was so fucking embarrassed, She probably thought I was a spaz. funny thing is I dated her early in the year and broke up with her for another girl who in turn dumped me right away. I was trying to win Sarah back and the gumliva didn't help my cause. Oh fuck man good ole 8th grade huh. Well Dan came up with the name gumliva, he also came up with stranglebating with is just as it sounds hanging yourself while beating off.

Big fucking weekend for my football teams, The Sun Devils play stanford at stanford if they win their 5-2. Only needing one more win to be bowl elidgeable. The Cardinals play the new york football ginats, I fucking hate the giants. I hate all the nfc east teams, mostly because the cardinals used to play in the nfc east and got kicked out and now play in the worst division in football. which is bullshit. So my fucking teams better win or i'm gonna be pissed. Fuck and only two weeks till Cobra Skulls, Teenage Bottlerocket and THE FUCKING LAWRENCE ARMS!!!!! So excited, can't wait. I'm going to Yuma for work next week, so I'll be living out of a hotel for a week thats always fun. Life is pretty fun right now. Anyways I think I'm all done for today maybe next week I'll talk about fucknuts and belt buckles. Later bitches.

nothing to say?

Sup dudes and dudettes, how is everyone. Me?I'm good bored outta my mind. Left work early. Can't wait for the weekend.So I had a little rant lined up for today but maybe I'll wait on it. So Erin Andrew's peephole video camera guy was caught that's pretty funny. What else is in the news? Where still in Afghanistan. Thats nothing new. I don't know writing sucks when you have nothing to say. Well I've been obsessed with crime noir lately, I don't know why but for some reason it just seems so cool to me. been watching crime movies and mysteries movies a lot. That shit is fuckn' awesome. I want to see zombieland that shit looks good and is it weird I think whip it looks good. I don't know man, I can't stand drew barrymore but maybe she's a good director. Ah fuck I'll watch it I mean come on who am I kidding, Love Actually is one of my favorite movies, so if whip is a chick flick maybe I will like it. Whatever, fuck this shit I'm outta here. Gonna go play me so Wolverine on the xbox. Later.

For the love of god, Don't rape Dogs.

Hey-Ho, Good fucking day. It's a Monday my head feels like someone shoved their dick up my nose till it hit my brain. HURTS!!! Saturday it hurts so bad I started drinking at 1:30pm and didn't quit till 3:00am then I ate bad mexican and throw up chorizo all over my bathroom. UUGHH drinking sucks. My buddy Bo opened up his own bar friday and I had me a nice little binge for two days. My fucking Devils lost again this weekend to the untaleted oregon state beavers. How the fuck do you lose to a team that named after vagina. Fuck I waited to write about last week September is the greatest month outta the year but tool acadamey reruns were calling and we all know I can't say no to douche bags.Lets see, the world continues to sprial outta contro, Obama's still a dick, Jon and Kate are still spilting up, Men are raping dogs, dogs are raping women and women are giving birth to Man-Dog mutants that will enslave us all. Ok that last ones not real but it could happen. It's the end of the world as we know it and I still haven't had chance to make the sweet love to megan fox. It sucks, the whole fucking world sucks right now. I'm mad and I'm not gonna take it anymore. well really I am but whatever. Time to list what was good this weekend.

1. Devil's Advocate. My old bar that I used to go all the time but shut down because the owners sucked then outta no where Bo comes to the rescue buys it and reopens it so that I have a place to drink again. YAY!!!!

2. I made through another week without getting fired or laided off. YAY!!!!!!

3. The Cowboys lost again cause they suck. YAY!!!!!

4. The Cardinals didn't lose this weekend (bye week) YAY!!!!!

5. no Man-Dog mutants enslaved humanity. YAY!!!!!

Thats it bitches my fingers hurt from all the typing. I'm gonna watch last nights American Dad. Peace!!