why oh why?

so I'm sitting here typing this blog, which I'm thinking will become my full time job, because? Yup you guessed it I got laid off. Fucking work, I knew I hated that fucking place.Now comes the endless onslaught of people telling what I should do. I think every motherfucker and their moms has told me something or an other. I'm quite sick of it. Losing your job, no matter what kind of job, is the worst. You feel like shit after the surprise of losing your job wears off. When it first happened I felt this wave of relief sweep over me.I wanted to stand up and shake the guy's hand who was laying me off. I could sense it coming for the past year. Last September I had a similar meeting with my bosses and they tried to get me to quit. I told I wasn't quiting and if they wanted me gone they would have to fire me. Looking back probably not the best choice of words by me. After that it seems that I've been having to look over my shoulder everyday. Which isn't the funnest way to work. After the lay off I didn't really have time to think about it, I had to leave town for my Uncle Charlie's funeral (ha funeral starts with fun)so I had other things on my mind, you know, But now I really entering that bitterness stage.You know, everything is their fault, I didn't do anything wrong. Which is true. I don't know, I feel like a worthless piece of shit when I'm not working. I been watching so many bad movies it's driving me insane, I've got Rachel got Married and The Wrestler just sitting on my dresser just waiting to be watched but insteed I watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turteles 2 and Death Warrent with Van Damne. What the fuck is wrong with me. The shitest part of everything is I don't get to hang out with the guys from work anymore. We just used to go to a job and kick it, read the newspaper , take two hour lunches, go to walmart to buy dog food. I guess you just got to understand my job, I was a helper. we would just go to a diffrent job every other day or so and do or thing. No bosses watching you all day. No time clock. As long as we showed up and got the work done it didn't matter what we did. It was freedom from the normal office job. I miss the guys I worked with and the work it self the most. But at the end of the day nothing stays the same forever. On a side note the new A Wilhelm Scream is so fucking awesome ,Fun time is quickly turning into one of my favorite AWS songs of all time. Well I gotta go you working fuckheads.