Well Hello interweb nerds. If your reading this you are in fact a nerd, cause lets face it, I'm nether important, famous or interesting. But you found your way here none the less so fucking read asshole. well how y'all doing, me good. I'm typing this from my mommies computer cause mines broke. fuck i swear that things good for one fucking thing and that's jerking off, well and the advancement of my writing career. Ha the last ones a joke.(literary) Well today i was reading the great Arizona republic, great paper. Full of the liberal garbage I like to read.Well any who I was reading an article on how, In her infinite wisdom, The governor of my great state has in fact passed some pretty cool gun laws.Now before I start my self righteous rant, KNOW THIS!! I LOVE THE OLD WEST!!!!! I really do I wish I was born then, fucking love Sergio Leone movies, love Clint Eastwood, I love it all. It rocks someone pisses you off you shoot them, how awesome is that.(One to the rant) Now Governor Jane Brewer (the dumb bitch) has passed laws that are in fact not cool but pretty fucking stupid. One thing I know about the old west is that it's fucking holly wood it's 80% fake. But with these new laws every slack jawed yokel will in fact think he is The Man in Black. What are these new laws you ask? well let papa educate you. Numero Uno: will allow people with a concealed-weapons permit to carry gats into restaurants and bars, though they can't be strapped while consuming alcohol. Part Deux:will restrict property and business owners from banning guns from parking areas so long as the weapons are kept out of sight in locked vehicles. And Episode 3:allows gun owners to display their weapon when they feel threatened by unlawful force. What the fuck man. Now I'm no gun hater(i don't own one, but not against having one or others having them) but I can tell this will lead to a couple problems. First off I know people, especially here in good ole Arizona. They are fucking retarded fucking right wing fucking cattle fucking cousin fucking necks or Red Neck for short. Granted not all of them I know a lot of fucking necks and most of them ain't that bad. Listen to shitty music but good god fearing folk none the less(that's twice i used that in one blog. kudos me)and the other type of person in Arizona is the Hip hop gangsta fucking wanna be who couldn't fight his way through a nursing home. Fucking guys of all races, lets be honest. who think that having a escalade on 22's and fucking nine in their pants makes them a balln' ass gangster. so here's the scenario person a and person b are at the bar, their not drinking cause it's the (law) but both have a gun on them and they bump into each other and words are exchanged. well what happens when things get all crazy and one of those asshole feels threatened they pull their piece and the other guy pulls his piece and boom bam boom the Wild Fucking West. Now I know I'm over exaggerating but this will happen. trust me I go to bars every weekend all over town and guess what people are assholes, give them permission to legaly have a firestick on them in a fucking bar no less and what the fuck do you think is gonna happen. And it sucks cause me and my friends have been known to start a squabble now and then, but we like to use or mits if it comes to it. How do I know that the cage fighter who I just called Danny Bonaduce(true story by the way I really did)isn't packing heat. Now I go outside to kick his ass and he has a gun, fuck that you stupid cunt fucking governor bitch. You make it easier for people to carry guns you make it easier for one human being to kill another. nuff said bitches on to another topic. Drinking!!!!
So has anyone seen ads for alcohol lately, it's like their trying to turn us into a bunch of dickless pussies or if your female a bunch of pussyless dickholes. Well I your fearless leader has the answer. Years ago my Jedi Master Tai (the man who helped me be a man)and I having been fed up with what was just the beginning of the douchebag beer and liquor commercials. Came up with our own commercials for Steel Reserve and now I present to you STEEL RESERVE COMMERCIALS!!!!
Hobo Man walks into a house,interrupting what looks to be a beautiful Thanksgiving diner. Shocked faces on everyone at the diner table. One Man from the table shouts "What the hell are you doing here" Little Timmy asks "who's that daddy?" "no one Timmy just the man who walked out on us when I was a child." more yelling and shit, punches are thrown. That's when I come in and say " Steel Reserve Doesn't care where you've been for the last twenty years. Steel Reserve make it your choice." END. what do you think? good huh. Next one is for a magazine you know regular old ad. Hobo feet sticking out of a cardboard box, half drunken bottle of Steel Reserve tipped over next to the box. the Tag line: Steel Reserve doesn't care you live in a box. Steel Reserve make it your Choice. that one is gold baby. last one Hobo man on busy street asking for change. Tom Cruise walks by. hobo asks "Spare some change sir" that sly grin Tom Cruise is known for shoots across the screen "Yeah I can, if you do something for me." Cruise says. Cut to scene of Hobo, pants around his ankles and Tom Cruise sucking his dick. Hobo turns head, looks into the camera and says "Steel Reserve doesn't care what you had to do to buy it. Then Tom stops sucking, turns to the camera and says "Steel Reserve make it your choice." END thats the best one huh. anyways it's late I got to get up early and just so you know arizona has way more asshole types then the two i named it would just take forever to name them all. Peace out y'all, go fuck a horse.
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